Being in the public eye, I have long been a subject for scrutiny.
I get it. It comes with the territory. You see and hear me. You have an opinion about what you see and hear.
In the early days of my TV career, I received handwritten letters (with no return address, of course) critiquing my clothing and hair, berating me for mispronouncing or not including a specific town, criticizing my use of grammar or my “midwest accent,” and any other number of offenses viewers felt it necessary to share. Very rarely was there a complaint about my actual forecasting skills. That, I could understand. That would be a legitimate complaint. I occasionally got notes if it rained when I said it wouldn’t, but I often heard about it if someone did not like my earrings.
Of course, when the “legitimate” complaints about my forecasts came in, they weren’t always very nice. Here’s one example: (name omitted but he included the M.Ed. title, to make him more legitimate, maybe?):
From C– H–, M.Ed You are an incompetent, ignoramus. I also believe you have some sort of eating disorder by the look of your frail arms! What the hell are you doing? Ruining Bike Week and any plans one may have had for Sunday. It did not even rain one drop yesterday. It is true that a “meteorolist” is no more than a palm reader, as your attempts at predicying the weather are not based on any patterns, nor even did you take the effort to call the National Weather Service, as you “soothsayers” often do! question your education and I certainly will NEVER trust your judgement, nor Channel 2’s hiring practices.Piss Off you Quack
The typos and misspellings are all his. Nice, eh?
There have been the occasional creepy, stalker notes, too:
“Hi, I’d be willing to pay $50 for a pair of your well-worn shoes.”
These are the tamest ones.
“Hi Amy, Don’t forget the fact that being pretty has advantages (like ratings). You dress well but your cameraman cuts off 50% of you. How about showing your legs.”
Once the Internet came along, the comments came in a bit more often, since email was easier to send than a hand-written note. Plus one could save the cost of a stamp!
Today with the rise of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Google+, LinkedIn, and numerous other social media platforms, it is even easier for viewers to send feedback to a television station. And not just to the station… directly to ME, the offender-at-large.
Sometimes it is just that – feedback:
“Amy, You’re getting too thin. I’m worried about you.”
Sometimes it is a compliment said with kindness:
“Pink is a good color for you as seen on the broadcast tonight.”
Sometimes it is criticism (maybe or maybe not constructive, a back-handed compliment perhaps?):
“Ok, ok, not that I matter or that you even care but Thursday you, well you are normally dressed perfectly, with a few ugly tops, but Thursday, in that green or orange top with the pockets and flap on them… uggg hideous… 1965 called, they want their top back, so gross and ugly… you’re normally the best dressed on TV, what were you thinking or did they make you wear that thing?????”
And sometimes it is just downright rude (often crass) blanketed by threats to turn the channel.
I am writing to let you know my opinion, my friend’s and also my family’s about something very important to us loyal Wesh news followers. The outfit choices of Miss Amy Sweezy are just ridiculous. Some days she looks like she just walked out of the reinasance fair with her poofy sleeves and little camisoles and other times, like today, when she is wearing denim bottoms she looks like she was going grocery shopping and she stopped by the station for a minute.
The gentlemen at the station are very stylish and classy, so are Aixa Diaz and Erika Washington, but Amy needs help. She is offending our eyes and looking seriously unprofessional. This lady needs a fashion adviser ASAP. If you think this is not important, just let me tell you that she has become a joke between my coworkers. Every day we turn on the TV on to see what this lady is wearing and laugh. Then we change the chanel to see another metheorologist who looks professional and who earns our respect.
Thank you in advance for doing something about it.
I grew up being taught things like: Turn the other cheek. Respond with kindness whenever possible. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. Ask yourself WWJD (What Would Jesus Do). I even learned from Disney’s Bambi, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”
It was that approach I generally tried to use when responding to these comments. Sometimes people would respond with an apology – perhaps surprised that I even received their letter? If they address it to me, whom do they think will get it? Maybe they think I have an assistant who sorts my mail and answers my “fan” letters.
This is how I responded to the woman above whose eyes (and apparently everyone she knew!) I was “offending” with my poofy sleeves and denim bottoms: (by the way, I’ve NEVER worn jeans on TV in the studio).
Thanks for sending the feedback to WESH.
I would love it if I had a fashion advisor but unfortunately we are responsible for choosing our own outfits.
Sometimes they work. Sometimes they don’t.
Clothes look very different on TV than they do in person and sometimes we just don’t know how something will look on TV until we give it a try.
It is not my intention to “offend your eyes” or “look seriously unprofessional” in my clothing choices.
I strive to be classy and professional every day.
After a few years, I developed a tough skin, but the personal attacks are hard to NOT take personally, no matter how mature I was or how much I came to understand broken people.
Eventually, I discovered deleting an email felt better than responding in kindness. Sometimes I saved the comments for a future laugh. (“Someday I am going to make a book out of these letters!”)
By the way, offended-by-poofy-sleeves lady emailed back. She apologized!
Thank you so much for answering my email. I am very impressed that you responded. I didn’t mean to offend you, and I actually think you do a great job and are very accurate.
I think the station should try to get some sponsors that could provide all of you with a wardrobe. You do a lot of work to on top of everything have to figure out what to wear every day.
As I can criticize I can also compliment; and this last five or so days you have looked wonderful. You looked very professional in your suits and in your trousers and cardigans. Dark colors really compliment you. Don’t think I didn’t notice!!!
As someone who watches you on TV every day, and if my opinion matters at all to you, sequinse, small patterns, denim, and long tops don’t look good on TV. But obviously you know that because lately you have looked lovely.
Again, sorry if I was rude. Did not mean to offend you… It’s just that sometimes that’s the only way to get through.
Being rude is the only way to be heard?!
Hmmph. Really?! Is that why we see politicians slandering each other? Is that why news commentators (not true journalists) yell at each other and cut each other off mid-sentence? Is this why we can’t disagree with someone (say, on Facebook?) about politics or religion without it turning to personal attacks and name-calling? Is this the world we live in?
Social media outlets seemed to recognize this world in which we live, and developed a few helpful things: unfriend, delete, block, mute.
We even have a word for it: “Cyber-Bullying.”
Instead of learning to get along in a world made up of people I don’t like or who are mean to me, I can just delete them. There was no need for my mom to teach me to play nicely in the sandbox. I could have just taken my toys and gone home!
This was equivalent to my first instinct of yelling back at these bullies: “Just turn the channel! If you hate my 1965 blouse so much, watch someone else.” When people threatened to watched other stations, that gave them power. Their comments were justified because of that whole “the customer is always right” thing. They are the TV customer. I am the owner selling “myself” (essentially) and if they said they were shopping elsewhere, I’d suddenly start complying to their wishes (mention their town, change my accent, stop wearing offensive clothes).
Of course, breaking in to a TV show with “weather updates” can also bring out the crazy in some people. Most TV meteorologists have received “hate mail” from viewers upset when their show is interrupted by tornado warning coverage.
Of course, breaking in to a TV show with “weather updates” can also bring out the crazy in some people. Most TV meteorologists have received “hate mail” from viewers upset when their show is interrupted by tornado warning coverage.
The older I get, the wiser I presumably become, the gutsier I feel, the less I care about what people think of me, the more I want to stand up for myself and put these people in their place. I’ve seen some people (movie stars, pro athletes, celebrities) go on the attack. Taylor Swift wrote a song about it: “Haters gonna hate… hate… hate… Shake it off.. shake it off…“ Some TV anchors have gone viral on YouTube standing up for themselves and calling people out. I don’t think you have to be nasty. I don’t think you have to say what you really think, “Hey, what’s it like living in your mom’s basement?” “Hey, how about you lose 50 pounds before you call me skinny or anorexic?” “Hey, how about you walk a day in my shoes before you start criticizing?” “Hey, how about you send me a photo of YOU before you rip apart my hair/makeup/clothes/appearance?”
Wow, I feel better just typing that stuff 🙂
I recently saw a segment which aired on the OWN Network (Thank you, Oprah!) with comedian, Maysoon Zayid. She’s a Muslim woman with cerebral palsy whose goal in life is to make people laugh. You’d think people wouldn’t have time to hate on someone when they’re busy laughing at jokes. Right? Wrong!
Maysoon discussed her experience with cyber-bullies on “In Deep Shift” with Jonas Elrod.
She shared how social media has empowered cyber-bullies, and how many awful things people had to say about her appearance, religion, and ethnicity. She could have deleted, blocked or ignored. She could have fought back. Instead she said this:
“Having compassion is not easy and it challenges me every day. It’s so much easier to lash out and hate the people who are being hateful to you than try to actually connect with them and engage and see why they’re doing it and see if there’s anything you can do to make them stop.” She goes on to say, “I think that social media has really empowered bullies because you get to do it from the comfort of your own home, completely anonymously, with no ramifications. And that’s what’s happening on social media. You see people from each side dehumanizing the people around them. You see teens in high school that have to leave the town they’re living in because they’ve been so severely bullied. And the parents are not stopping it.”
Awhile back I wrote a blog explaining what I call my “accidental diet.” In it, I referred to some of the nasty emails I’d received about my weight and thin size. Although most of the feedback to my blog was incredibly supportive, I was surprised to see so many people ask “Why do you even respond?” Several told me I didn’t need to defend myself. Some said I needed to just ignore and block the mean people. You know what? I don’t want to!
I want to answer and I want to tell these people to “Just STOP!”
Comedian Maysoon Zayid said something similar in her interview: “People would tell me, ‘Why do you respond to these anonymous trolls? They have no effect on you, you’re bigger than that, and the reason I respond is because someone has to. Because if no one ever tells them, ‘Stop. Think about what you’re saying. Are you proud of this?’ then they will go after someone not as strong as me. And when they go after someone not as strong as me, that person might take their own life. And if there is anything I can do to make people stop with the hate and find something better to focus on, that’s my goal.”
A link to the entire show if you’d like to watch the video of Maysoon is HERE
A few days ago, I posted a news (not weather) story on my work Facebook page:
It was a horrific article about a pregnant woman who had been attacked. Since I’ve had 3 kids, the story was especially vivid to me. Under my post, a follower (a viewer?) commented “Stick to weather.”
Really? This is MY page. If you get to post pictures of your lunch and complain for the thousandth time about your job, can’t I decide to post a story about something other than weather to my page? I said as much. He deleted his comment (and my response) within minutes. Will he think before posting again? Who knows. Maybe. Maybe not. But at least for one small second, he thought enough to delete the comment.
It used to be that the only people in the path of hateful feedback from strangers were those in the public eye: athletes, celebrities, rock stars, TV journalists, radio deejays, etc.
Now in the age of social media, anyone can be targeted by online mean people (some might be strangers, but some might be people you know personally!).
If you think about it, there are all kinds of people who comment online or offer opinions – “potential cyber bullies,” perhaps?
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A complete stranger who may or may not be just an Internet troll
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A complete stranger who knows who you are (in my case that would be a TV viewer) and who feels like you are “friends” so therefore it is okay for them to tell you what they think
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A well intentioned friend (or stranger) who honestly thinks they are offering helpful advice or constructive criticism
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A true friend – although I have a hard time believing a true friend would post something publicly rather than communicating in confidence (but everyone is different and has different styles of communicating)
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A bully – someone who intentionally posts garbage for the pure enjoyment of inciting anger and getting a reaction. That would be a devil’s advocate – to the Nth degree!
Here’s the thing. This isn’t meant to be a lecture about what YOU should do about bullies. Telling you how to respond to rude people is not my place. It drove me crazy when people told me, “You don’t need to defend yourself.” “You should just walk away from the haters & not engage.”
But maybe I want to!
Maybe I will choose to ignore them. Maybe it will depend on my mood. Maybe it will depend on if they’re just calling me a skinny broad who needs to eat a burger, or if they’re calling me an insult to women or meteorologists because of the way I’m wearing my hair.
It’s okay to ignore the haters. It’s okay to unfriend or block or mute the bullies. It’s fine if you want to engage the mean people into a full-on Twitter battle. It’s also okay if you want to empower yourself to say, “Hey, Bully! Just STOP!”
It’s okay to respond. Sometimes it’s okay to just tell people they are being rude.
I responded to the guy who sent that tweet about Karen Carpenter:
I didn’t hear back from him.
It is sad you have to share/bring things like this to the public eye, but there is a lot of negativity in the world today. Folks seem to think they have to hate on others so they don't have to look at themselves. Thank you for being a strong woman and doing this commentary. I hope that at least 1 person can see and make changes from this. If so you have accomplished much. We help change society one person at a time.
Amy,
All that you stated above is so very accurate. It's unfortunate that social media has essentially brought out the anti-social in people. The potential for immediacy and anonymity with the harsh things they say has entitled what might otherwise have been decent people into cyber-bullies.
Any time I've seen you doing the weather on WESH you've always looked great and appeared the ultimate in professionalism.
I've seen you and your family out to eat one evening. As comfortable as you appear on television, it's nothing compared to how comfortable you appear in public with your family. It would have been easy to have approached you to thank you for the great job you do for WESH. But, in my estimation, that was your private time with your family and I (nor any other viewer) has a right to impose on your time with them.
I wish there was a way of imposing respect for others and removing all the anti-social behavior we all witness in the world of social media. But we have to admit that's simply not going to happen.Often the best way of handling their biting remarks is to imagine (always in a humorous way) who the person is coming up with those remarks and how pathetic their lives must be for them to try pushing their own personal misery off on others.
In summary, keep up the good work and keep looking great. The job of the weather forecaster is the toughest job in that the largest portion of your job is predicting the future. Newscasters and sportscasters get the luxury of reporting on what's already happened.
Take care and thank you for sharing your life and insights with us all!
One at a time! Yes… GREAT plan! Thanks so much.
Thank you, Mickey.
Wouldn't it be great if people who admire and appreciate you, talked as much as those who criticize? I think you are beautiful, competent, and not bad at bowling either. Thanks for keeping it real! -From a fellow mid-westerner.
Yes, that would be great! Thanks, Brian.
Thanks, Brian!
Amy , I can’t believe some of these comments people post .I’ve watched you and the Wesh 2 team for several years , and I think , your doing a phenomenal job . Your a beautiful, intelligent classy proffesional , who brings a ray of sunshine each morning no matter how bad the weather is .Continue to ignore the haters, and thank you for starting our days with a smile
Amy , those jealous haters , are just that , if they don’t like what your wearing or how your hair looks , then by all means change the channel .Your doing a phenomenal job every day and I enjoy your Broadcast . You start my day with a smile and a heads up on a potential stormy day . Your Wesh team kept us calm and up to date during this past hurricane season of 2017 . Keep up the great work and cudos to all , your my favorite news channel😊
Sincerely: Renny
i get up @ 4:30 am and watch you every day. you do a great job. always dressed professionaly and smilling. also very easy on the eyes. keep up the great job and making my early am something to look forward to.
Amy Sweezy you are a class act and a true professional role model. We are so fortunate to have you in Central Florida as our top weather expert. Please stay here with us!